My Testimony

I have thought about writing my testimony for many years. Since I have a blog where I am able to write about anything I want, I have decided to write it now.

Like so many others in the South, I was reared in church. My parents did not attend church regularly, so I attended wherever my grandfather was preaching. I remember attending Bigbee Baptist, Becker Baptist, and First Baptist with him and my grandmother. I was saved March, 1989, at a small church in Nettleton, MS, called Temple Grove Baptist Church.

When children are asked about their future plans, many of them respond with answers like police man, astronaut, teacher, etc. That was not my response. I wanted to be a preacher. Honestly, that was my sincere desire in life. I preached my first sermon when I was 9 or 10 years old. I was so small that I had to stand on a milk crate so I could see over the pulpit. The sermon lasted about 10 minutes and was nothing special.

I remember as a 12-year-old boy sitting on the bench in front of Nettleton Junior High School with a friend. A voice spoke into my heart that I was to preach (For you theologians, no it was not an audible voice. It was much louder than that!). At that time, though, I did not want to preach. I started thinking about all the things that I would miss. So I said, "No, Lord, I want to live." I see that day as a major turning point in my life.

I imagine some of you know the story of Jonah. He was a prophet who tried to run from God, but God found Him everywhere he went. He got on a boat; God was on the boat. He was swallowed by a fish; God was in the fish. He rested on a mountain side; God was on the mountain side. Like Jonah, everywhere I turned it seemed like God was looking me in the face saying, "I want you to preach. I am calling you." Like Jonah, I wanted to flee from the presence of God.

There was no place for me to go though. I could hide in my room, but God was there. Then, I figured out that I could hide from myself in another reality. I was around 12 or 13 when I first smoked marijuana. When I was high, I did not think about God. When I was high, I could drown out the pounding in my heart. When I was high, His voice turned to static.  I moved from marijuana to cocaine, cocaine to methamphetamine, and, then, on to anything else I could get. I was running and hiding from reality because God called me to the ministry. I did not want to do it because I had a misunderstanding of life and liberty. There is more to life than just living in the moment. There is more to liberty than just freedom to do whatever you want. True life and liberty are only found in Christ. I know that now, but I did not know that then.

I suffered during the years of drug abuse; all happiness was gone from my life. I built a wall with drugs and alcohol in my life so that I could keep parents, friends, loved-ones, and especially, God out of it. Most people tell funny stories about the things they have done while high, but not me. Yes, if I am honest I remember the better times easier than I do the bad times. I have to make myself remember the bad experiences so I do not glorify that lifestyle. I remember as a teenager being grounded more than not. I spilled marijuana in my car one night, and the next day my dad found it. Grounded! I was growing marijuana in my room, and my sister found it. Grounded! I saw a person get stabbed with a steak knife one night. I have a fractured L-2 vertebrae because I was drinking and driving. I did every drug I could get my hands on. I tried everything possible to remove myself from the reality that I was in; I succeeded. I became a person that was estranged to my parents, family, and especially, to God. I lost every bit of love and concern I had for other people. I had no hope!

Let us fast-forward to the beginning of the end of my drug abuse. At this point in my life, I had been married to Amanda for a few years. I had been using drugs for days. I had been drinking, smoking marijuana, and using methamphetamine. One night, I had a person in my car using drugs. We had been using drugs all night and we pulled into an apartment complex in Verona. This apartment complex was not the place to be at night because of crime and drug activity. That was the reason they had an armed police officer checking people before they went into the complex.

As I approached the complex, the cop stopped my vehicle and asked, "What is your business here?"

I replied to him, "My friend lives in one of the apartments. I'm taking him home."

The cop replied, "That's great. Why don't you tell your friend to hand me the bag of marijuana sitting on his lap?"

Of course, I looked and there was a bag of marijuana sitting in the guy's lap. When my eyes met his, I saw utter disbelief. I watched in disbelief as he grabbed the door handle of the car, bailed out, and start running for the woods.

The cop yelled at him, "Don't worry I'm not running after you because I have your friend here."

The cop looked at me and told me to put the car in park and turn the ignition off. At that moment, my honest thought was to drive off and run from the cops. Something, or should I say, Someone spoke to my heart. I put the car in park and turned the engine off. I was taken out of the car, hand-cuffed, and searched. The policemen searched my vehicle. They found drugs and drug paraphernalia.  After a few moments, the police officer came back over to me, turned me around, unlocked the handcuffs, and told me to go home. That was God's grace.

A few days after that incident, I was using drugs in my house. My grandmother came over, knocked on the door, entered, and said to me, "It's time to stop running from God." It is difficult for me to describe how I felt in that moment, but I will try. There was a flood of emotions that overtook me. I was angry; how dare she say that to me? I was convicted; I felt like someone had placed a ton of bricks on my chest. The emotions overtook me so I began to cry. I knew her statement was true. I had been running from God. He was getting my attention.

I checked myself into a drug rehab center in Corinth, Mississippi. God knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it. There were two Baptist preachers working at that drug rehab when I attended. I was confronted in large group sessions, counseling time, and at night with the Bible. I am thankful God placed those men there at that time.

God worked through my wife as well. While I was being preached to in the center, she was demonstrating love to me. Love is a difficult thing to understand sometimes. God's love is difficult to understand too. What is unconditional (agape) love? How can a person define or illustrate unconditional love? Amanda loved me even though I caused her pain. Amanda loved me even though I lied and abused our relationship.

One night after a few stressful days, I picked up the Bible and asked God to speak to me. The Bible opened to Luke 15 so I read about the lost sheep, lost coin, and the prodigal son. At once, I knew I was like that prodigal son. I was the one who left his loving and caring father, but the father was there waiting for me to come back. When I returned "home," I found a loving father, gracious, and kind.

I stayed in rehab for 60-90 days; I can not remember exactly (I have a lot of memory loss from certain parts of my life.). I returned home to Nettleton and the church I attended as a teenager, First Baptist Church, Nettleton. I was afraid of how I would be received at church. One Sunday as I left the sanctuary, the pastor was at the door shaking hands. I told him that I believed God was calling me to the ministry. He encouraged me, met with Amanda and me, and we made my call to ministry public.

I had a lot of bridges to build because I burned many of them through my drug abuse. I have tried to make amends with school teachers, youth workers, and others who I hurt during those times. I still find myself thinking about people I wronged and how I can reach out to them. The biggest challenge concerned my family. I regained their trust eventually, but it took awhile.

So let me tell you what God has done in my life since I surrendered to His will.

My relationship with my wife, my family, and her family is better today than it ever was before. God can restore relationships when we surrender those relationships to Him.

I surrendered to the ministry at First Baptist Church, Nettleton. They licensed me to the Gospel Ministry, September 21, 2005. The church called me to be their youth minister. I served there from 2007 to 2010. The members of First Baptist Church ordained me to the Gospel Ministry, February 1, 2009.

I quit school in the 10th grade. I always like to tell people I have a 9th grade education, but that's not entirely true. I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Biblical Studies (B.A.) from Blue Mountain College. I also graduated with a Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Currently, I'm pursuing a Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) degree from New Orleans as well.

I am thankful I have had the privilege to serve three churches as pastor. I served at Tiplersville Baptist Church, Pleasant Ridge Baptist Church, and currently serve at Holly Baptist Church.

God redeems and reconciles! The people who knew me then don't recognize me now. The people who know me now cannot believe who I was then. Who can take people like Moses, Jonah, David, and Peter, and change them completely? God! Who can take a drug addict and change them completely? God! I hope you realize that this is not a story about me. If the story was about me, then it would be a story of unfaithfulness, hopelessness, and despair. This is a story about God; it is a story about His faithfulness, hope, and love.